Accomplishment

The last few days have been absolutely gorgeous, sunny with mild temperatures. This kind of weather always seems to invigorate me allowing me to do things that I normally wouldn't do. For instance, Thursday I tore apart my room. Innocent enough, right? By tearing it apart, that is essentially what I did....I scrubbed every part of my hospital bed until the metal shone, not a single dust particle could be found. All of my shelves were stripped and cleaned as well all the while tossing out anything that I either didn't need or was garbage. Afterwards, I reorganized everything. Everything else got a bath and was dusted as well, the floors were scrubbed as well. You would be surprised how much grime comes up from wood floors with a scrub brush.

How did I do this? How is it that a person who typically lives on a vent and has multi-system problems can do this? Carefully. That's right, carefully. I can live off the vent for a little more than a hour at a time if I pace myself right before the tell tale headaches and shortness of breath rears their heads. I do not exert myself in the traditional way that most people do. I take several breaks, to catch my breath. I have learned to be more patient with myself and others because of this adjustment. Because of this, it takes me quite a bit longer to finish any given task, often done in blocks. It nearly took me the entire day, but I did it...my room now sparkles and is dust free. This in itself is a huge accomplishment for someone who's doctors predicted would pretty much wheelchair bound. It felt good.

Yesterday, I was exhausted but that was okay. I earned that exhaustion along with the familiar aches and pains that comes with such bursts of energy. I laid around in my comfy clothes for a good part of the day, finally shedding them for my baggy shorts and favorite "Bite Me" shirt. Of course my mother had something to say about my loafing. She tends to forget that I am not like normal people....my energy reserves gets tapped out with such cleaning efforts. While I may be energetic one day, the next I will pay for it dearly and need to recover. It is hard to explain this to people when they can't "see" my physical problems. They are buried deep within my body, clearly evident to me anytime I push myself too far. My lungs scream as they work extra hard to keep up with my efforts. My muscles burn and ache when I tug a bit too aggressively. My joints cry out as well in protest to such insult. Invisible to them, certainly not to me. I say the hell with their scrutiny...I will do what it takes to feel better even if it means sleeping the entire day. Let them make snide remarks...I don't really give a rat's ass. It's my body and my time, I will do with it them whatever I want. If I want to fritter my day away in my very soft bed, then I will do so as I nestle into my pile of pillows and watch my favorite movies.

Today is a better day for me, I don't feel like I have weights on my legs and arms. It is amazing what some well deserved rest does for me. My muscles and joints are ready for another day, as are my lungs. After my routine chest pounding and meds,I think that I will head off to the farmer's market, where my daughter works. She has been imploring me to come for the last few weeks, I hadn't been able to make it because of the parties that have sprung up, but today, I am totally free. I love farm markets because of all of the goodies that are up for sale from home made jams to incredibly awesome artisan breads. In one corner, there is a vast array of honeys. In another, there are traditionally made Kosher dill pickles which always makes my mouth water. As I said in my previous post, I absolutely love pickles...I will most likely buy a jar of them. On another stand will be breads, perhaps there will be naan with curried lentils and potatoes like the last time. If so, sold. I love curry and had never eaten anything like this, I crave more!

So, there you have it...my day planned out for now. Who knows what I will do after I go to the market. I don't like to commit myself to any specific plan unless I have to. That way, if something comes up, I have the freedom to just up and go. Maybe I will paint some more, the day is perfect for this but like I said, who knows. We will see...

Until next time my friends...hugs and peace, Jenn :)